lately i've been having a lot of talks with various people about all kinds of stuff, but mostly about our group of friends and stuff that's going on, and while sometimes i feel as though i'm talking behind people's backs in a bad way, on the whole i don't consider that to be what's happening. i believe everyone's entitled to their own opinions and whether or not i choose to verbalize them to certain people (ie. the people who are the topic of discussion) is my choice. lately i've been on this anti-bullshit campaign for myself, where i'm just not going to deal with crap that people may or may not give me about whatever. i realized the other day that i spent a lot of my adolescent childhood caught up in a whirlwind of pure bullshit, and that makes me unhappy, but what's in the past is just that. and i refuse to let it happen all over again. i'd like to think we're all grown ups here and can handle situations in a rational, open manner. and i'd prefer if everything was just out there and taken how it "should" be taken. i don't really know what i'm talking about now, i went off on a tangent. but basically the point of this blog is for me to tell whoever's reading this that yes, i probably talk about you with other people. yes, i gossip. yes, i'm a bitch sometimes. yes, i sometimes involve other people's business too much into my own life. but don't take it personally. really, i can't imagine that anyone reading this has NEVER done the same thing. so before you cast stones at me (if that's what your urge to do is), just think about that. this blog is not meant to be confrontational or intended towards any certain person. it's just a general musing of mine that i thought i'd post for you to read.

also, i'd like to make a few comments on something that i've been pondering for a bit...friendship. what exactly does that entail for me? well, i've just been thinking about how people are graduating and leaving, and i've been wondering to myself "am i going to miss *enter name* when he/she leaves?" most of the time, the answer is yes, i will miss this person. but what i really want to do is cut my losses. sounds harsh? let me explain......true friendship does not know any bounds, any length of time, any amount of distance. and i don't feel like i've been wasting time being friends with anyone in my life, friends are not a waste. but what if i don't ever talk to this person ever again? was that friendship not as meaningful than if i were to keep in contact with another person for the rest of my life? no it was meaningful at the time, and it always will be. but i refuse to sit here and "waste" my time trying to hold onto superficial friendships. and i know i won't. i know who's important to me, and i know who's not. i know who i will continue to keep in touch with, and i know who i'll probably never speak to again when they're gone. it's just bygones....there's no hard feelings (i hope), no love lost. i say, minus bullshit, let's enjoy time we have with people, cause after they're gone, who knows if you'll ever speak to them again? but that is in fact minus any bullshit. if someone wants to make bullshit out of an effort you or i put forth to them, then fuck em. like i said before though, this isn't directed at anyone, just random thoughts of mine. take from it what you can:)