These days, I find myself wondering if what I have in life right now is ever going to be enough. With the admission that it is unfair, I never seem to have what I want, and when I do, it's seemingly short-lived and abruptly goes away. Is this what my life has in store for me? To constantly be pleased and then quickly let down?

I understand the whole adage of "life is what you make it" blah blah blah. Well, frankly, there are some things in life that I have no control over, thus I can't mold it to what I want it to ultimately be. And I fear I'm running out of patience while I wait for it to become what I need it be.

I sometimes wish my life was like a 1/2 hour-, or even hour-long television show. The dilemma presents itself, and by the end of the day, the solution has as well. How ironic it is that I have these feelings when on the same coin, I hate how much television and media in general permeates my life and influences my tracks of thinking at times. It's because of that very concept that I hate myself sometimes. At times, I feel like television is my worst enemy, for many reasons, not just the ones mentioned above. It's complicated.

I suppose it's my sole job to ensure that my life and its events aren't just a barrel of disappointments. Early retirement is looking good right about now.