Last weekend, I lost Bob. This weekend, Bob lost his wallet. Both events triggered the exact same end: Bob and I didn't get to spend any time together on Saturday evening. I honestly think the universe is out to get us. So you can see why I'm completely, 100% comfortable with the fact that we'll be flying on an airplane in eight days to vacation on a boat in the ocean. I hope I have enough karma when these events come around. If anything should happen, you all heard it here first: my funeral is to be an invitation-only event.