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Misunderstood

"She's not crazy just a little misunderstood."-BTE

Friday, October 24, 2003

my random thought:

i wish i had a cat so on lazy sunny days like this one, we could lie in a pool of sunlight on the ground and sleep and lick ourselves and stuff.
i went to waffle house last nite around 1am. at 5am i woke up because i thought i was going to vomit all over myself. i'm convinced it was not the food i ate, but the fact that i cannot smoke in waffle house anymore. fucking tragic, people. the MAN is trying to keep me down and inhibit me from doing the one thing in life i truly enjoy: giving myself and others cancer while eating at the same time. damn the man, save the empire.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

its funny to think that despite the physical capabilities of the human body, we as humans are really quite fragile. i mean, first think about this: the human body is constructed in a way that allows for multiple blows to its physical well being because of the physiological healing power of the body. our teeth and jaws are made to be able to tear apart flesh when we eat; our cells regenerate in order to make new ones; our internal structure is designed to protect vital organs; our blood cells fight off infection; the skull protects our brain. our bodies are capable of so many phenomenal functions to protect us.

but what do we innately possess that will protect us from things that don't harm us in a physical way, but in a mental way? things that come to mind: willpower; motivation; stamina; our social support systems; determination. all these things are well and good, but they're not foolproof, right? well, i suppose not, and come to think of it, the aformentioned physical traits we possess aren't sometimes either. so supposing that, what defenses do we have against the external and internal things that harm us?? oh yes, we have tools to use, but none of which are foolproof. which only further tells me that yes, we are in fact NOT infallible. i know this already. but it worries me because if all else fails, what *do* we have to turn to for protection? nothing. so while as human beings we're phenomenal in our abilities to ward off the bad things, at the same time we're extremely susceptible to things that harm. so what does that mean? it seems we're all just destined to destruct in some way or another.

for some reason i felt i already knew that, so i've since wasted about 15 minutes of my life that i'll never get back. oh well.

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

i love you jodi!! i hope you remember that every darn day:)

Sunday, October 19, 2003

hey kevin, thanks for being there for me. i know you'll always help me out when i need it and listen to me bitch and moan about whatever. i really appreciate your support and i hope that you continue to find betterment for yourself because you deserve so much. maybe things won't be so easy, but i know you'll find your way thru it. just keep on trekking....:)
FUCK YOU!!!!