well last nite was quite a nite, i got so wasted, but not sick (unlike some unlucky souls) and had such a great time hanging out with everyone. personally, i give the spirit award to JENNIFER MEHALIK for all her achievements.....getting drunk in the first place, NOT bringing up ball cancer once with a guy in conversation, talking to eric the hot work out boy, getting a kiss on the cheek from his friend eric, and all around having a good nite. also, props to miss katy for coming out and getting wasted when she had to work at 6am...NICE PERFORMANCE, PEOPLE:) anyway, the point is that i had such a fun nite and no hangover, so it's a good weekend thus far;) keep it real

so i'm playing a little free cell this morning when i woke up, and i happened to lose a game, and you know when you have no more legal moves, and the window pops up to tell you:
"sorry you lose. there are no more legal moves. would you like to play again?"
i swear the window that popped up actually said:
"sorry you loser, there are no more legal moves because you suck. would you like to play again, sucky player?"
it was odd.

boy i'm really getting the hang of this being alone thing...hooray for me

so first of all, why am i now known as "the short asian dating bobby craft?" excuse me, people, but i have an identity of my own that far exceeds the fact that i'm simply "bob's girlfriend." yes i'm short, yes i'm asian, yes i'm dating bob, but there's so much more to me than that that identifies me and singles me out as an individual. for example......................yeah, ok, i got nothing, but still. i just don't like the fact that i'm known by some people as just "bob's girlfriend", especially people who know me better than that. good God, has it gotten that bad that "bob's girlfriend" is my main attribute to society?? WTF?? <-- (that was for you, kate) wake up folks! i have a name and it certainly isn't "girl who's dating bob." geezus.

quit sucking all the fun you......fun sucker.

i think my feelings would best be expressed in song lyrics, once again, by travis. they really know how to put my depressive feelings into words:)

"we've been round block and we're getting on fine, but you don't know what i'm like.
and i looked at the clock and it was way past the line, still you don't know what i'm like.
well it's been a good time trying to have a good time, and for a time it really seemed ok.
you eventually lost and i'm happy because you don't know what i'm like.
you've lived in my shoes and you stayed in my flat, still you don't know what i'm like.
and it's you that will lose, what you think about that? cause you don't know what i'm like.
well it's been a good time trying to have a good time, and for a time it really seemed ok.
you eventually lost and i'm happy because you don't know what i'm like. and you don't know what i like.
now i'm on the tv and you're on the phone, still you don't know what i'm like.
and i found someone new and she's taking me home, cause she knows just what i like.
we've spent a good time and we had a good time, i think i found a place i wanna stay.
you eventually lost and i'm happy because you don't know what i'm like.
and you dont' know what i like, and you'll never know what i'm like."
-TRAVIS-

that's enough posting for one nite.

yeah, so about that selfish bitch comment....i decided this past weekend that i spend way too much time thinking about myself and my problems, and i know that it's just something we do, but i just feel like i could be a better friend, a better sister, a better girlfriend, a better something, and i really want to be all those things. i just cant' help but worry about how everything is going to affect me, and it makes me sad to think that i'm going to go thru life concerned about myself the majority of the time. i know that's a really asinine thing to say because obviously i'm not a horrible person to other people, but dont' we all wish we could do more? i do.

i'm such a selfish bitch sometimes.......yeah i'm over it