Houston, we have a problem...

So it's been 2 days with no smoking and still going strong. Well, I suppose 'strong' is not the best word to describe today's experience with no smoking. I've had 2 people today tell me (in a nutshell) that while they're glad I'm trying to quit, they don't really believe I'm actually going to be able to. Let me tell you how fucking encouraging that is.

I talked with Bob about it tonight, and it was really upsetting to me. I told him that this is exactly why I don't share certain things with certain people. This is what I want to tell all the skeptics (and I'm sure there are many, maybe reasonably so): Don't you think I realize that the chances of me failing are pretty high compared to the chances of me suceeding?? I am well aware of this, and frankly the skeptic inside my head is the only one I really care to deal with right now.

So I say this to you, anyone who reads this and gives a shit: If you don't have anything truly positive to say to me about this, then just keep your mouth shut. Like I said, I don't need your sarcasm and/or skepticism....I have plenty of that already from my own self.

But for those kind souls who actually believe that positive feedback, encouragement, and positive reinforcement are what I need (and I do!), I say thank you and I appreciate your support. It means a lot.

As of this 11 o'clock hour, I have officially gone 24 whole hours without smoking a cigarette. I must admit, it's a somewhat bittersweet moment, as I have no one to share it with (Kate's asleep in Boston, Bob's asleep in Jersey). I'm very proud of myself and admittedly so, very surprised. I'm not known for my willpower, as you have probably picked up at one time or another. I'll really have to think about this....Maryann, a non-smoker. Hmm.

I've been throwing around quitting smoking in my head for awhile now. (Geez, like I need yet another reason to be bitchy and mean.) I have neglected to really mention it to more than just a couple of individuals, as I don't like or feel I need the pressure. This is hard. The funny thing is that I didn't pick this week to quit or anything. I just kinda did without smoking and it has sort of evolved into an effort to stop I guess. Oh, and by the by: if you see me smoking after today, don't judge me. Addictions are hard enough without your judgmental look or voice in my ear. I thank you in advance for your diplomacy. (Besides, chances are you're addicted to something, whether it be porn or sodium or something.)

I've read countless times in women's magazines that you may be more successful at quitting smoking if you do it during the week prior to your period as opposed to any other time during the month. Doesn't that just seem unjust? I am always a moody, darting mess the week before my period. What a great time to NOT have that psychological fixation that seems to make things ok. But wait a minute! Much to your (and my) disbelief, it currently is, in fact, the week prior to my period. And if you'll review with me the facts mentioned at the beginning, it has been 24 hours since my last cigarette. Maybe the articles were right. <---(that's not what my addiction says.)

They're leaving on a jet plane

Kate's leaving in the morning for a week vacation in Boston. As I mentioned to her before, it's going to be hard since I can't spend a week alone in my apartment--I'm too paranoid that something bad will happen (i.e. looters and rapists). Plus I'm used to her leaving the light on for me at night before she goes to bed. The upside of it, as she mentioned to me, is that I can walk around naked now.

The only thing that makes it worse is that Bob is also out of town this week. Boo. I guess I won't be watching any scary movies this week.

These boots were made for walking...

As I was just telling Bob, I have done more exercise today than I had the previous week.

We got up early today and went for a walk for about 45 min. Later in the afternoon, we played tennis for about an hour or so. Afterwards, we walked back to Bob's, only to realize we had been locked out of his apt. So in an effort to remedy the situation, we walked over to Los's apt to get a key. Needless to say, Los wasn't home, so we ran/walked back to Bob's to wait to get in. After this, we drove to my apt where we proceeded to walk to BW3's and back.

Now my feet hurt and I want to pass out. I could feel even better about all this aerobic exercise if I hadn't just negated most of it by eating fried chicken tenders and drinking beer at Bw3's. Oh well. There's always next Sunday.